PMS Series (2) - In the Face of Male Passivity

I find it slightly amusing how everyone seems to have read the first post in the PMS Series (In the face of male insensitivity) but have also refused to make a comment on it. It's like they are almost afraid to open a can of worms - very funny. I don't care about can of worms. Don't know if you know but where I come from there are some edible worms. I eat worms for fun! Yum Yum. So, ladies and gentlemen (sweeping gesture accompanied by pomp and pageantry) dig in with me as I dish up the second course in our worm fiesta.

Male passivity – what do I mean? (btw, I hate it when people speak or write like this, it reminds me of school, you know how professors talk as if the rest of us are retards. So I type “Male passivity – what do I mean?” with my tongue in my cheek and a huge grin”). To understand my thinking we should think of the closest antonym for passive and that’s ‘proactive’. The word proactive to me suggests being practical, hands on, and even pre-empting solutions before challenges occur. How come a normally active man, especially when the required activity is supposed to occur somewhere in the midst of four posts, suddenly becomes inactive just when you need him.

Here are some scenarios:

1. You’ve got your screaming one year old slung over one arm, your usually angelic three year old yanking at your skirts, putting you in danger of toppling over, amidst all these you are trying to stir a pot of steaming bubbling soup and hoping you don’t get any of the hot soup on the three of you. The man in your life is sitting in front of the TV watching sports and drinking beer.
2. You’ve both driven in three hours of terrible traffic after a hard day at the office. All you can think of is a long soak in the bathtub with that new aroma-therapy stress relieving foam bath you just purchased and the moment you walk in the door, dude starts demanding dinner knowing fully well there’s nothing remotely instantly microwavable. I mean, he ate everything the night before and all you got for your troubles was a loud burp!

Okay, I know what you are thinking now, you think I have painted unflattering and exaggerated pictures of man’s passivity. Well, don’t get me wrong, this is the same man who’ll bring you breakfast in bed, who’ll scrub your back when you can’t reach it, who’ll carry the shopping bags after you hectically picked out the groceries…! I know your next question is - then what are you complaining about?

These men pick the most inopportune moment to become what they know best “men”. Why do you think he brings you breakfast in bed? Because he needs you to stay in bed for the next hour or two and doesn’t want the fact that you need to make breakfast distract you. Why does he scrub your back? D’uh. Okay now you think you’ve got me, why does he carry the shopping bags?? Because what better way to show the world what a great guy he is!!! Notice how he dumps them on the kitchen table for you to unpack the moment you both walk through the door.

I know women are biologically enabled to bear children. That’s the one thing men never let us forget. If they can look past that one fact for a moment, maybe they’ll notice that women are not especially endowed biologically to maybe hold kitchen spoons or change diapers and stuff. You know I look at my hands again and notice that it’s not as if it is curved in a special way for these tasks. So what’s up dudes? Pull your own weight if you please.

Why do I hear approaching cries of “crucify her, crucify her”?