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Tuesday, August 19, 2008

PMS series (3) - In the face of male smugness



How una dey? Forgive me for not posting any of my PMS rantings for a while. It was due to nature. Imagine! I tried to fit into one pair of bikini bottoms I used to wear like 2years ago, thank God it fit oh! but d tin almost tear my nyansh into two.
So I have gone on a crash chinese-torture 10wk diet plan, where all I'm allowed to eat is air and water! (If you open dat your teeth ehn...!) AND exercise from morning till night. I call it 'operation bonga-fish'. I even changed my fb profile picture to one very lekpacious girl cartoon (see pic) to inspire me. God pass dem! But then I digress...

Now to the business at hand. Men are smug beings. The world is supposed to revolve around them and when it doesn't? - credible threat to world peace. Now to be fair to men, not all of them are like this but when they are, they reeeeeeaaaaallly are.
This one goes out to all the men who would LOVE for our worlds to revolve around them. Men, funny beings, they ASSUME you want to call them at 1.00am on a Friday night to find out where they are. They ASSUME you will go ga-ga if you saw that chic's number on his dialled numbers list. They ASSUME you'd be unable to run your life properly if they weren't there. They KNOW you'll cry buckets if they left you. These are the men that absolutely hate songs like 'Independent woman', 'I will survive' and 'Take a bow'.
You know something funny, these kind of men always act like 'omigosh-she's-always-up-in-my-b'iness'. But they love the attention, they can't live without it. They need it like tilapia needs sea water. You should hear them at the club, 'my woman'll soon call, why can't she just sleep and leave me alone' (tip: if you don't call they'll pretend you did and hold the phone to their ears and yell at a phantom caller to leave them alone, they'll be home when they please!). I used to have a boyfriend who'll get upset when I don't get upset about his numerous other women! Imagine! He'll say to me 'if you cared a little about me you'll care that I've got other women'. They need their women to be insecure so they can provide security. You've got to fuel that ego or else... Some women do just that, feed that ego so there'll be peace. The problem is the ego just keeps growing humongous. It's just another pissing contest, they actually measure who's more in control of his ward (you know, his woman). You have to feed him, listen to him even if you don't want to talk, tend his every need and let him be 'the man' in public, while he sits there with a smug smile.
Ok, mister, this is what a woman wants from her man, support not dominance, respect not disrespect. She wants you to listen and recognise that she's her own person with her own views, opinions, wants, desires, ambition and above all, life. She may be with you but guess what? She's still an individual, it's not like you guys are conjoined at the hips now. There's no need for you to monitor her every move or even do everything for her. Sometimes we actually don't want your advice even if in your infinite wisdom we are about to make a grave mistake. Yeah, believe it or not. We would like to make our own mistakes and not yours. We would love to see you happy all the time, but you know sometimes, we have PMS, bad day at work, mood swings or even just don't feel like it. Maybe you should find something else to do, how about that sport station you are always intent on watching the moment we switch to fashion TV? Sometimes we don't want to have a conversation, sometimes we don't want to cook and no this is no revolution or women liberation thing going on and we don't want another car... we are only human.
Don't mean to be mean but some dudes need to realise there are 'two people' in that relationship and some women need to learn to be who they are supposed to be. You need to look for that balance, I am all for mutual respect and support in a relationship, I guess that's why we do it in the first place. That's what love should bring.

20 more steps:

Rita Esuru Okoroafor said...

I really hope women know they "need to learn to be who they are supposed to be". It is because of this ignorance that most revolve their life around some man.

poeticallytinted said...

Yeah,Rita, ignorance and fear. The fear of being labelled 'different'. That sucks. That's one of the reasons I blog. To liberate people, maybe help people begin to examine their lifestyles and if one person makes changes that help her or him by the way live a fuller life, that will make it all worthwile. Please come back and do tell others.

Free-flowing Florida said...

hmmmm. have i been there & done all dat! hmmm. am putting it down 2 days of ignorance now o, cos if not i go strangle d next man n my life 4 d silliness of an ex. i can remember being told by one idiot like dat dat i was too emancipated 4 him!!!! 4 him mind! meanwhile, d asshole was just my buddy-call

Free-flowing Florida said...

abeg no starve urself 2 death ojare. haba. all these oyibo ladies r giving us complexes cos of weight. abeg, tell dem say na correct african babe u be!

kay-shawn said...

Interesting post about men, you cant blame us can you.

Beautiful entry on my blog, 'I'm kind of new in town could you give me directions to your heart' That's the kind of entry I'm looking for not the ones that suggest the performance of a sex act. Please, please dont forget to submit that entry when the competition starts on 7th September.

TWayne said...

So true....

But to be honest, I'm quite worried about this new personal vendetta against men. Where's this coming from???

Jarrai said...

Hahahahah...operation bonga fish indeed!!! I did the master cleanse and that was hard enough imagine water and air heheheheheheh..

Wow, you have said it all. I have to confess i am guilty of some of the "sins" mentioned but i came out of it better and less naive

Nicely written

poeticallytinted said...

@fff: a lot of women cheat themselves in life by burying their true selves to please their men. & Ok, I'll be proud of my newly acquired booty but... :)

@ kay-shawn: that was just a tip of the ice-berg oh. My main arsenal is still a HUGE secret. (as if) lol.

@twayne: eh? new kini? r you sure u're my friend? anyway, no personal vendetta, just saying it like it is and hoping someone learns from it. YOU KNOW I LURV ME SOME MAN...

@jarrai: at first 'twas difficult to do water and air ok and some veggies and fruits. but it get's easier, 10days down the line. Now i know how pple become anorexic. You did not sin oh, it's just something we slip into. AT least you are aware and less naive. Alwayz be true to urself. let that be your watchword.

Standtall said...

You hit the nail right on the end. Tell them systa.
This part is really good to know " they need you to feel inscure so they can provide security" as opposed to women will always feel insecure so that men can be there for them.

poeticallytinted said...

Really interesting insight standtall. It's just a vicious cycle, abi?

Standtall said...

Yeah u put it correctly "vicious circle"

TY Tha Mos Magnificent said...

you hit the nail on the head but every general rule has its exception. Not all donkeys are asses.

Woomie O! said...

Operation Bonga-Fish! I'm interested!!!
P-l-e-a-s-e help me tell my sweetness that there's two of us o! not just him!!! he seems to be forgetting that lately.
First time here!!!
Loving ur blog.

poeticallytinted said...

@tythamostmagnificent (lurving your name btw), i completely agree with you. Not all men are that way. Some are that way not cause they want to be mean, it's just the way they are.

@woomie O: sweetie, thanks for the compliment (showing my teeth). Please come back oh. Newayz, tell him yourself... but don't forget to do it gently and punctuate every sentence with a heartfelt 'I love you'. communication is important. if something hurts you feel free to share you feelings. Don't keep it in or it will fester and become something ugly. cheers and all the best. off to yours now. and you too TY..

princesa said...

Do you have a lovely blog!!!
More men should read this seriously!

and that air and water diet,hmmm...take am easy o,lol!

Still expecting ur call. Would love to see you at the SBR dear.

poeticallytinted said...

sorry dear will call you... now.

Funms said...

preach it!!!!! ive met some dudes like that, stupid insecure fools.... they need to be put in their place. only if such men could read this...... i'd def be back ehre

poeticallytinted said...

thank you jare! your opinion is valued. thanks for stopping by.

NigerianDramaQueen said...

On my way out, but just wanted to stop by and say hey! FFF said this is the place to be if I like poetry...I'll be back to read.

poeticallytinted said...

@dramaqueen: yes yes (jumping up and down excitedly). thanks for coming, see ya!

 
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