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Friday, November 7, 2008

What's love got to do with it?

(Unimaginative title, i know)

Hello everyone. Thank you so very much for your well wishes and love and for your comfort in a dark moment.

Does anyone remember that, come to think of it, not so silly nursery rhyme, where this poor dude offers this material girl his heart and his love just so she would marry him but she wouldn't give in until he mentions the key to his house? I think the last stanza goes like this:

Dude (obviously in agony):

If I give to you
The key to my house
The key to my house and all I have
Oh, won't you marry
marry, marry, marry
Won't you marry me

Girl (with a broad smile):
If you give to me
The key to your house
The key to your house and all you have
Oh, I will marry
marry, marry, marry
I will marry you!

(okay I got carried away there for a second humming the melody)

What does love truly mean? or maybe I should ask, what does true love mean?

Is it an action? Is it something you do? Is it that house you bought by the beach for her? Is it the rock on her finger? Is it the romantic bunch of flowers you sent to her office and it wasn't even val's day? Is it the humongous cake you left at her door on the morning of her birthday (woe betide you if she hates getting older just like I do. Sorry, I didn't tell you guys but my birthday was on the 17th of October, I conveniently let it slide because I hate to count the passage of time) What is the definition of love?

To me love is: giving all of you, everything, with no reservations, laying down your all. That’s what love means to me. Love is unselfish care for another, willing to get hurt as long as it is in the other’s interest. In the midst of your pain being happy that the other person is happy.

Sounds twisted, convoluted and confusing not so? Okay lemme break it down. When you are truly in love, you DO because you love, you don’t LOVE because you do. That house or car you bought doesn’t necessarily equal love, spending all your spare time with her doesn’t mean you love her, giving up your career to marry him doesn’t mean you love him. Love is what makes you do those things. The things you’ve sacrificed for this other person are an expression of your love and not the love itself.

The doing and giving are confused for love in our minds because love demands expression. When you are in love you do things to make this other person smile, make this person laugh, make this person glow with joy. You want to please this person, you dedicate your whole life to making this person happy. That’s love. How idyllic. When there’s no love on your part and you give and give one day you’ll be tired of giving and either stop giving or look for a way out as it will soon become a chore.

There is a need to express love and that is why it hurts when you are apart from the one you love. When he’s not there, it hurts because you can't express it. You can't kiss him, you can't hold him, you can't look in his eyes, you can't love him, you can't be with him, you can't make love to him, you can't hold his hand, you can't buy him that slim tie, you can't laugh at him, you can't run your fingers through his maybe thinning hair, you can't feel the warmth of his body against yours, you can't make him smile or hear him laugh, you can't you just can't! If you’ve ever felt that way that’s true love!

True love wants to jump up and proclaim itself. It drives you, it does. That’s what love is.

Remember, as you fall heedlessly in love, to do all you can to protect your heart.

19 more steps:

Wole said...

Never commented here b4. This is deep. Touching, so raw, so real. Beautiful.

rethots said...

Hmmm, what is (not) love? ...in addition, love is not static, 'tis nurtured in direct proportion to what is invested in it.

Standtall said...

Here is food for thought

MissLove said...

true! pls tell them what love is oh...I always tell people what is in my bible though which fits most of ur post...Love is all..Love is of God, Love is God! people dont know how sacred that word is! morons! lol

FFF said...

i remember dat rhyme. hmm. & u r so right. protecting ur heart, damn right. lots of pple i know think they shouldn't hold anything back wen loving. i disagree. until a man/woman proves himself/herself worthy 2 care 4 ur heart, pls by all means hold out a bit

talesandtallies said...

thank you for this... i agree that when you love someone you fall hopelessly, but you want to also be able to cushion your fall.

I agree with you the most on one thing, Just like you I believe in loving without reservations

deola said...

Love for me is indeed the end of the road.
Thanks for the article.

I would love to host you on my blog.

Robyn said...

LOve is sacrifice,,to me it just that.We here okay.

AlooFar said...

This is lovely. I like it.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

"Remember, as you fall heedlessly in love, to do all you can to protect your heart."

Amen.

OluwaDee said...

"True love wants to jump up and proclaim itself. It drives you, it does."

love does indeed drive one.

poeticallytinted said...

@wole: first time and you are FIRST! thanks.
@rethots: I understand what you mean
@standtall: yes oh my sis.
@misslove: off to your page. thanks for dropping by
@fff: you remember that rhyme?! lol it was so silly at the time.
@t&t: I love your blog.
@deola: just lemme know what i need to do. thanks for stopping by and i am so honored
@robyn: i see. how are you?
@aloofar: Thanks dear
@solomsydelle: Amen! how are you doing?
@oluwadee: It.sure.does.

NigerianDramaQueen said...

Your so right. Real love is not whispered or hushed. Real love wants to jump and proclaim itself. A friend of mine once told me that when he is really in love, he wants to jump on the rooftops and declare it...
G8 post. Deep stuff.

Miss Definitely Maybe said...

Strange thing is even though its hard to describe what love is.....when you do find it you just know.

Afronuts said...

Love is an endless topic.

U can spend 3 years studying it in a university and still have not had enuff

poeticallytinted said...

@Miss Definitely Maybe: I feel you. I call it "the click". It happens in a few minutes of meeting the other person you know. But you just need time to verify it, if you know what i mean.

@Afronuts: I TELL YOU!

Robyn said...

More post dear,,we miss you.

poeticallytinted said...

right on time, Robyn!

Stani said...

"To me love is: giving all of you, everything, with no reservations, laying down your all. That’s what love means to me. Love is unselfish care for another, willing to get hurt as long as it is in the other’s interest. In the midst of your pain being happy that the other person is happy.
" yes! i totally relate to this! true love is simply bliss!

 
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