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Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Love hurts


Frozen
Trembling
Riveted
My heart looks on
Pried swiftly
Recklessly
Swept up in
This energy
Deliciously
Dangerously
Careening
Slipping
Groping
Falling
Aching
Frozen
Trembling...
pic:www.blogskins.com

24 more steps:

Temite said...

Loved it. Love is crap men. crap I tell you.

Temite said...

did I mention that
I AM FURSTTTtttTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
BOW FOR THE QUEEN.
Bum bum bun dun bum Bumight....

AlooFar said...

Poignant.

Enigma said...

The pace - the words - the pain - hmmmmmm......

Afronuts said...

LMAO @ Temite.
Knuckle head. wait till one bobo takes ur head over ur heels and turns u into a total luf mungu...

cool piece

Steve Morozumi said...

wow. i love that poem! i dig that predominantly single word per line style that you rolled out. it's suh-weeet! did i say: "i love that poem!"? =D

-Steve @ fluxlife

simplegal said...

Wow...this is a powerful piece! I loved it.

Enkay said...

It's so nice the way so much can be said with so few words.

Really nice!

Buttercup said...

i read ur interview at standtall's and knew i had to come here..love how u write!

yea, love does hurt..sometimes.

Enigma said...

@ Afronuts: Hi, hope you do not mind my addressing you on this blog....I never did understand the expression "Head over heels"...thought that was their natural spatial positioning...just a thought.

isha said...

LMAO @ Temite.

I beg to differ tho. It's not ALL crap. Your head will come up above water pretty soon.

Kafo said...

I DON'T LIKE TEMITE :)


wow this is something else entirely

Temite said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Temite said...

Temite walks in.
hmmmmmm. listens intently to the conversation...lets see
@ Afronuts - and then a couple years down the line, after he realises that you cant give him a son, he leaves you for another woman, who is a hotter, younger, much more fertile version of you. I say love is CRAP. Not for me at all.
@ Isha - I am sure I dont want it to. I rather prefer the aquatic creatures to the shark-like predators that is the Men folk on earth.
@Kafo - why now? You hurt my feelings men. I think I am going to go talk to my friends Under da sea.
Sorry Le Poet, for taking over una blog o.

poeticallytinted said...

@Temite: love is beautiful when done right. I see you are spoiling for a fight with Bumight. (btw Does FBA know how you feel about love?:) and err... about taking over my blog... my house is your house feel free.
@Aloofar: Thanks jare!
@Enigma: hmmm. About head over heels - well so long as we all understand what it means oh it becomes a legitimate expression. That's how it works, language isn't always logical, it evolves. Maybe if you dug a bit you'd understand how it became an expression. I think I'll google it.
@Afronuts:Don't mind her, then her song will soooo change. thanks for dropping in.
@ STeve: yes you did. lol.
@Simplegal:Thanks for stopping by.
@Enkay: hey babe was up?
@Buttercup: (clapping and dancing) welcome welcome
@Isha: Thanks jare

Enigma said...

Only God can forgive them for the mess they call the English Language - here it is, the conclusion to my temporary obsession with Head over Heels:

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/head-over-heels.html

PS: Poetically, your writing is tight.

Robyn said...

"shhh Will you marry me?" dont laugh am serious lol.Anyway i love this kind of writing.

OluwaDee said...

me I don't understand poems o.
But I read it anyways.

poeticallytinted said...

@ Robyn: Yes!!!!!!!!!!! Robyn Yes!!!!!!!!!!! but wait, what will Claire think?

@ Oluwadee: lol. at least you are reading. We'll soon make a convert out of you. Soon you'll be filled with poetic zeal and fervour. One love!

StandTall-The Activist said...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

mike said...

explicit enough! Will reconsider always consider love no matter what i read

Stanis said...

hey! this is cool! hope u don't mind, but I am going to work on these words and bring something else out of it! i will let you know soon as i am done! no! it will be my next post

Olufunke said...

NIce, short, precise, profound
Love can hurt, but we were programmed to love
We'll keep loving........
How're you doing?

Turumarth said...

Why did everyone think this thing was (only) about the hurting part of love? The cycle seems obvious especially since it ends with the same two words it started with...

Like someone said though, 'the pace'! Works beautifully. Try reading it out loud; start with a moderate speed, picking it up and peaking at 'This energy/Deliciously/Dangerously' then slowing down to a crawl before the last two lines.

Delicious.

 
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