Love hurts

Frozen
Trembling
Riveted
My heart looks on
Pried swiftly
Recklessly
Swept up in
This energy
Deliciously
Dangerously
Careening
Slipping
Groping
Falling
Aching
Frozen
Trembling...

pic:www.blogskins.com

Is it true?

Okay peeps, I promised to put you out of your misery. So here's the truth at last.

Last week I was tagged to write three statements about myself, 2 had to be lies and 1 true:
these were the statements:

1. I tried to kill myself sometime in the past
2. I've got natural kinky african hair, no perms, no waves, no weaves
3. I used to think I was a lesbian

Standy, Earl, Temite, Afro, Miss Sula, Ty and Woomie all thought 1 was the lie. For some reason most people didn't think I would have ever resorted to wanting to kill myself... hmmm

MDM, NDQ, Kafo and Oluwadee, didn't think my hair would be natural, I wonder why...

Stanis was torn between 1 and 3 and FFF was definite 3 was true

Bumight, Fineboy Agbero's old flame was quite certain 3 was the lie...

Okay here's the truth...

1. is true: I tried to kill myself once in the past. Fed myself a small handful of my cousin's prescripton sleeping pills hoping to slip away in my sleep. The point to this exercise was to end what I considered then unbearable pain. This was some years ago, I have come a looong way since then. I probably really didn't want to die because it was a bit comical, i took so much time between pills that I slept off before i got to a dose that could've killed me... lol. No, I don't think I am suicidal.

2 is true: I wear my hair in dreadlocks or "dreadful locks" whichever it is to you. No perms, no waves, no weaves, no chemicals...

3 is a LIE: I have NEVER been unsure of my sexual orientation or which way it was I swung. For some reason, right from when I was seven I knew I liked boys (for the voyeurs reading this, I didn't experiment with them till i was a decent age)... Never thought of a girl in a sexual way, never felt like squeezing a girls boobs, never kissed a girl and liked the taste of her cherry chapstick... ok I am quite sure you get it now.

So that's all folks! Will put up a proper update soon. And will do blogrounds later today.

I have been tagged (True-Lies)

Standtall or Standy as Temite likes to call her has tagged me. I've no clue what to ask but i guess it will come to me as I go on. The rules are:

a. Tell three things about yourself, two should be true and one a lie.
b. Commenters should guess which two are true and which one is a lie and tell why they think so.
c. Tag 6 people to do the same.
d. Post the answers in your next blog, but only after you have a good number of comments

My statements are:

1. I tried to kill myself sometime in the past
2. I've got natural kinky african hair, no perms, no waves, no weaves
3. I used to think I was a lesbian

Phew! that was tough! I tag:

1. Tythemostmagnificient
2. Stani
3. Red sapphire
4. NDQ
5. poetryinaglobalbox
6. any one who hasn't been tagged yet.

Have fun guys.

Poetry fest

I'LL HAVE THIS DANCE

My heart beats a tune with yours
A song whose words I never learnt
Bubbles, spills all around us
The whisper of your fingertips
Like the tentative first notes
Of a song in a mystery language
My skin leaps to meet your hands
Like the melody of string instruments
We flow, we writhe together
In this corporeal dance
Strum me, your guitar
Beat me, your drum
Blare me, your trumpet
Let this dance begin

DRESSED TO KILL

In

Your minuscule

Outfit

And

My minuscule

Heartbeat

At

Your Luminous

Beauty

I

Keel Over

Slowly

THE END (it ended, he wrote half of this, I wrote the other half)

Looking back

Words never said

Silence broken only

By the sound of hearts breaking

Driving off in a cloud of dust

I face the end before the beginning

Listless days

Tears almost shed

Music that teases and tortures

Memory, a throbbing tooth

I will no longer have you

Akwaaba - Lessons from Accra (mini update)

Was in Ghana for the first time last weekend and I learnt that:

- there is a certain poetic justice in watching Nigerians lift "Ghana Must Go" bags from the conveyor belt at the International airport in Accra.

- good roads and electricity are not displays of oyinbo winch - launching space rockets are.

- you can have an organised airport in West Africa... where taxis queue close to the exit

- you can brand a country! Selling Kente, Woodin and writing "Akwaaba" on all the notice boards could be starting points... however investing a bit in tourism won't hurt any.

- you can walk around at night without looking over your shoulders for homicidal armed robbers who only want your mobile phone and then your life.

- wearing hotpants in broad daylight is not considered conspiracy against the government and will not get you arrested.

- it doesn't matter how dilapidated taxis are, just ensure their brakes and their stereos are working well. You get extra points for louder speakers.

- pedestrains have rights and traffic rules are not so silly afterall.

- sun tan lotion is something you should pack along with swimsuits irrespective of skin colour

- if you can't pronounce its name, don't eat it or drink it by the way.

White Cat Blues

Stiggy and I (well, at least my legs), just chilling...

I am almost ashamed to admit - I didn't write this, a friend of mine did. I love it!!!! It's just adequately sad and suits my mood perfectly right now and what's more is I actually own a crazy white cat!!!! But then, I digress...

You may not see it but to me, it is so poignant in its simplicity so profound in its elegance. Gives you the feeling that what's unsaid is weightier than what's been said and all this is done in a breezy and almost playful manner that fails to camouflage the pain within. I'll let you judge for yourselves now lol:

WHITE CAT BLUES


I can almost visualize
on the low grey recliner
by the tv on the floor
a framed photograph of me
holding you
holding that silly white cat

I can almost remember
in the middle of the room
with you spread across my back
lying there breathing deeply
stroking you
stroking a purring white cat

I spend hours sometimes days
reliving a future that
belongs now to someone else
loving you
loving the crazy white cat

New Year = New Person????

It’s only normal and perhaps fashionable to profess noble sounding new year resolutions at this time of the year. When people ask me ‘what’s your new year resolution?’ and I reply “I have none” it becomes an opener to a very tiresome discussion (at least for me). In fact, I have been accused of arrogance - You know, going around thinking you are perfect and stuff and there’s nothing to change, you really think you are all that abi? In fact I could tell you a FEW things you need to change, you may want to start by changing your attitude you punk a** B****!!!!! (okay, maybe not that bad).

What is a New Year resolution really? It’s a commitment a person makes on the first day of a New Year towards changing a certain habit or lifestyle for the better. These commitments only last until achieved or fashied.

My take on New Year resolutions and new year eve’s religious services is this, you really don’t need to wait for the end of a year before you decide to change a bad habit or change your lifestyle to a more advantageous pattern. You need not wait a whole year for a certain day to resolve to become a better person.

I have found that people set near impossible targets to achieve without properly thinking them through on New Year ’s Eve. This creates a pattern, if you set targets without thinking it through you are more likely not to achieve your goals than if they had been properly planned with appropriate milestones in-between for measuring success. New Year resolutions fail because people wake up one morning and decide to make major personality changes just because it’s a New Year. Cold Turkey, maybe some New Year fairy will wave a magic wand which will cause me to stop smoking or drinking or driving too fast or lose weight or save money or get a good job… the list is endless.

But does it really work that way? What is most likely to happen is this, two or three weeks down the line the resolution crumbles and you are back to your old ways. The Ghost of New Year present withdraws all support and beats it to ghost land. The worst part is this, it’s difficult to get back on track because you are like ‘Oh shoot! There goes my New Year resolution, right down the drain. Now I have to wait till December 31st to make another one. In the meantime, I’ll just smoke a pack before then and damn the cancer…”

Hey, all hope is not lost you know. It’s just a paradigm shift you require. Truth is, you don’t need a special day to live better, to decide to become a better person. You’ve got 365 days in a year to do that. Any of those days works as well as the other. All you need is to think it through. You need to make these changes step by each tasking step and congratulate yourself at each milestone you achieve. That’s the way to go. Whenever is fine. It doesn’t have to be New Year’s eve.

So get up and make those changes today, tomorrow… whenever you need to.
Having said this… I’d love for this to be the last update I post from my desk at work. From now on I’ll manage my time better and blog only from home… (yeah, whatever!)
Have a great day y’all.

:D