Sugar and Spice and all things sweet...

Some people say I write dark poems better, so I am trying my hands at sugary sweet... what do you think?

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Why I cry

I love the love you make me see
A love I love with all of me
Like clouds of blue beneath a bird
I soar above my years of dread

These tears you see are not of pain
But are of joy, look what I’ve gained

Each time our fingers come entwined
I feel I hold your heart in mine
I read the words inside your eyes
And know we’ll never say goodbye

These tears you see are not of pain
But my love, you are such sweet gain

I came to you with so much fear
You hushed them with kisses so dear
Calm like I never felt before
Making me love you more and more

These tears, my love, are not of pain
I sure would know, look what I’ve gained

What's love got to do with it?

(Unimaginative title, i know)

Hello everyone. Thank you so very much for your well wishes and love and for your comfort in a dark moment.

Does anyone remember that, come to think of it, not so silly nursery rhyme, where this poor dude offers this material girl his heart and his love just so she would marry him but she wouldn't give in until he mentions the key to his house? I think the last stanza goes like this:

Dude (obviously in agony):

If I give to you
The key to my house
The key to my house and all I have
Oh, won't you marry
marry, marry, marry
Won't you marry me

Girl (with a broad smile):
If you give to me
The key to your house
The key to your house and all you have
Oh, I will marry
marry, marry, marry
I will marry you!

(okay I got carried away there for a second humming the melody)

What does love truly mean? or maybe I should ask, what does true love mean?

Is it an action? Is it something you do? Is it that house you bought by the beach for her? Is it the rock on her finger? Is it the romantic bunch of flowers you sent to her office and it wasn't even val's day? Is it the humongous cake you left at her door on the morning of her birthday (woe betide you if she hates getting older just like I do. Sorry, I didn't tell you guys but my birthday was on the 17th of October, I conveniently let it slide because I hate to count the passage of time) What is the definition of love?

To me love is: giving all of you, everything, with no reservations, laying down your all. That’s what love means to me. Love is unselfish care for another, willing to get hurt as long as it is in the other’s interest. In the midst of your pain being happy that the other person is happy.

Sounds twisted, convoluted and confusing not so? Okay lemme break it down. When you are truly in love, you DO because you love, you don’t LOVE because you do. That house or car you bought doesn’t necessarily equal love, spending all your spare time with her doesn’t mean you love her, giving up your career to marry him doesn’t mean you love him. Love is what makes you do those things. The things you’ve sacrificed for this other person are an expression of your love and not the love itself.

The doing and giving are confused for love in our minds because love demands expression. When you are in love you do things to make this other person smile, make this person laugh, make this person glow with joy. You want to please this person, you dedicate your whole life to making this person happy. That’s love. How idyllic. When there’s no love on your part and you give and give one day you’ll be tired of giving and either stop giving or look for a way out as it will soon become a chore.

There is a need to express love and that is why it hurts when you are apart from the one you love. When he’s not there, it hurts because you can't express it. You can't kiss him, you can't hold him, you can't look in his eyes, you can't love him, you can't be with him, you can't make love to him, you can't hold his hand, you can't buy him that slim tie, you can't laugh at him, you can't run your fingers through his maybe thinning hair, you can't feel the warmth of his body against yours, you can't make him smile or hear him laugh, you can't you just can't! If you’ve ever felt that way that’s true love!

True love wants to jump up and proclaim itself. It drives you, it does. That’s what love is.

Remember, as you fall heedlessly in love, to do all you can to protect your heart.

'B' on my mind

click on pic

Darkness
Mocking laughter
Shadows of malevolence
Creeping around

Mocking laughter
As the sands run out
Gone all gone
Pain abounds

Shadows of malevolence
Brush past me
Time stops
No second rounds

Creeping around
Gotta fight death
But first, gotta grieve
Someone I love just went in the ground

p.s.
it happened in May '08, but it still hurts like mad!

Apologies

Dear All,

I am so sorry for the extended silence.

I have just been moved to a key role in my place of work. This has meant non-stop work trying to get a grip on things. It's been absolutely crazy. I currently have 33 items on my to-do list. Don't ask me how I intend to pull this off for I have no idea.

According to my boss who's a darling (wry smile) he says, "The reward for hard work is more work". Now you get the picture. This IS actually a reward, it just doesn't feel like it. :D Maybe one day it will... ($$$$$$)

Will put up a proper update and do blog rounds as soon as I am able to breathe a bit.

Love y'all. Please don't forget me oh!

p.s.

Thanks Solomonsydelle for caring about me. I'm fine, just overworked.

Exodos

link to picture: http://photobucket.com/findstuff/

Dark clouds
Come together
Forming screaming faces
As tormented skies…
Bleed in harmony
To a dirge
Heard in the distance

Gnarled hands
Ending in talons
Squeezing wheezing tissue
As crushed hearts…
Bleed in harmony
To a dirge
Heard in the distance

Dull exodos*
Concludes this being
Ending living agony
As sliced veins
Bleed in harmony
To a dirge
Heard in the distance




*exodos: in Greek drama, the final scene; in tragedy , it is the action following the final stasimon (choral ode); in comedy it is the final. (www.answers.com/exodos)

Cyber Group Hug

I am in an upbeat mood today and for no apparent reason. I feel like sharing the smiles. Remember those nonsensical poems people make up with words from a common register? I made up one with Blog titles. Couldn't fit everyone in - forgive me, I guess I'll do another one ... You could try your hands at one too if you so wish...

link to picture: http://static.flickr.com/97/241531487_860be30410.jpg

BLOGAMANIA



This is why I write

I am lost at the other end of the world

With no one to talk to but the Singing Blogger

I wish to tell the story of an African girl

A Nigerian Curiosity and of course

My mother's child



Everyday I find

Reasons to celebrate Africa

Yet I know life is what it is

No illusions, forget the mystique

one day we will all become

Ashes and Dust



I have begun the journey

To showing Africa with style

I am the Activist, Generation-Next

I am a Badderchic

I am Miss Balance, your Lady Guide

Yes, I am only letting out



Do you mind my shotmusinz?

Think of them as ero-lyrics

but what they really are

Are the last minute confessions

of a Nigerian drama queen



This is about You, me and a whole lotta s*@!

I speak about Life, love, lust and the in betweens

But whatever I do

It will always be one more step

To getting to know you fully

Part two - Battle of the voices

Voice 1: Truth is, I am not sure I want to spend the rest of my life alone, truth is, I really do not believe I will ever find the crazy, tingling from head to toe kind of love I had for whatshisname eight years ago, truth is this is as good as it gets or isn't it?

Voice 2: I think you do not desire what he has to offer - at present. Your focus seems to be different. He seems to be coming on too strong and you are like, wtf?! Your perspective may change in time. Your relationship seems to have been based on half-truths at least on your part. You were escaping loneliness / lack of companionship. I may be wrong but fortunately for you, he IS a great guy, so doesn't look like you made a mistake. You've tried damage control, to warn him of your insanity, of your unconventional ideas and he still hangs on for dear life because he truly loves you. It seems you love him kind of the way a mom loves another woman's kid, you wouldn't like to see that kid get hurt.

Voice 1: That sounds so true, never thought of it like that myself.

Voice 2: You do not feel the 100%, I've found a soulmate kind of love. The someone who finishes off my sentences sort of love.

Voice 1: Isn't that how it should be before you go making commitments like getting engaged????!!!

Voice 2: The point is you are under no obligation to make a commitment. I know you feel pressured because you are engaged...

Voice 1: Everyone and I mean everyone and their brothers can't wait for the wedding!!!!!!!!!

Voice 2: Don't run off and get married just yet, wait and by the way don't run off in the opposite direction just yet either. Open up to him, let him fully appreciate there is no external ceremony that will cure what ails you. You love him but maybe you are not in love with him just yet.

Voice 1: No, it's not that simple, I WANT to be with him but I don't think I want to give everything of me to him. Let him in my space, in my life, in my head and completely in my heart, I've guarded my individuality, my heart and my independence too jealously all these years to willingly give any bit of it up at the sound of 'you may now kiss the bride'.

Voice 2: He may win you over in the future, he may not have done it now but it is looking likely. He is a GREAT guy, let's not lose sight of that.

Voice 1: Sometimes, when I feel like calling it off, I look into his eyes and realise the damage I'd be doing if I did that, I am not sure I can break his heart like that. I don't have it in me. I just can't. More pressure...

Voice 2: You may have a different view in future.

Voice 1: I feel untrue... I feel like I am living someone else's life, don't feel right. what if I don't feel differently in future? Should I like subject myself to a life of half-portions just because I wonder if anyone will ever be to me what I need. I also do not want to spend the rest of my life alone. Now I know what it really really feels like to be loved unconditionally, selfish, nearly-narcissistic me! :(

Voice 2: But he can be what you need, if you let him. He is ready. He is willing. He may not be there yet but that's part of what marriage is about, growing together in a secure relationship. I truly do not want you to regret any choices you make later on in life.

Voice 1: I don't know but I guess the eventual decision will have to be mine and will have to be something I can whole-heartedly accept. Don't worry, I won't regret whatever choices I make.

Voice 2: You are right the decision is yours.